God is Good

Well, it's been a busy, very emotional week for us. 

Monday - I had been talking about trying out some new OBGYN's for some time now, so we decided to stay a little closer to home and go to my family gyno, Dr. Jafarnia.  After meeting with him, I felt very comfortable and happy with our decision.  He scheduled an ultrasound for him to check up on everything.

Wednesday - Ben had a meeting, so he wasn't able to make the appointment, but it was so routine for me by now, that it was no big deal.  I waited for almost two hours to get in.  The ultrasound tech was super nice and she was constantly communicating what she saw with me, so that was a nice change.  She asked me a couple of times if I was sure on my date of last period, because she was measuring me at about 6 weeks (I should have been 8 weeks).  She kept saying it was a little confusing, but that the doctor would explain more to me.

Dr. Jafarnia met with me in his office and told me that they could hear no heartbeat and the baby had stopped growing at 6 weeks.  I had had a miscarriage and my body had held on to the baby for 2 weeks now.  My mind was reeling.  He told me that they would have to perform a small surgery-type procedure to clean out my uterus, because my body had not.  I couldn't get into that yet...I could barely wrap my brain around the fact that my baby was no longer growing.  I left in a haze....called Ben and broke the news.  God is so good to us, because even in the midst of our grief, we felt a sense of peace that told us that God was with us no matter what.

I read this forward that said something like:  God never takes things out of your grasp to be cruel, simply to open your hands to receive something better.

Friday - My procedure was scheduled for 8:30 am.  They forget to tell you that you'll have to wait for hours to simply get registered and to pay for the procedure up front.  After getting through that ordeal with a few tears, we were finally in the Day Surgery waiting room, waiting for them to let me in and get me prepped.  It was so nerve racking!!  I mean, I had to face a few fears of mine head on here...First of all, I never imagined ever being in any type of surgery...I'm sure no one ever does...  I'm not a fan of needles, getting blood taken, or IV's, these are all scary enough for me...but after all the poking and proding I've been through, I feel like I got over some fears! (not that I would like to go through them again! haha) After all the preparations and getting to give my hubby a few kisses, I get rolled into a huge operating room with huge lights and white walls, and people in masks...lol you know one cool thing that i do remember, is that they had clouds painted on the ceiling :)  that was a nice, relaxing touch I think.  Either way, fears and all, God was so good to me, giving me a peace and letting me know he was with me.  I was under general anesthesia, so after they put me to sleep, I felt nothing of course, until I woke in the recovery room.  Extremely groggy and having a few abdominal cramps (which they said was normal), they gave me some pain medication and let me sleep a little bit longer.  I start waking up a little bit more and my mom and my sweet husband were allowed to come in and see me.  I got some yummy graham crackers and cranberry juice as my first meal of the day, and then they pretty much let me get dressed and leave whenever I felt ready.  

So, today is the day after this whole ordeal, and to tell you the truth, I feel great!  A little Tylenol took care of some of the achy muscles they said I would have and as far as emotionally, I feel such a sense of closure that gives me peace.  God has big things in our future, and we know that He will never let us down.  There will be baby Watson's in the future...but for now, we will be patient and know that God is in control!

We love all of you and thank you for all the support and the prayers from all our friends and family.  God bless you all!

AW